Friday, 31 July 2009

King Of The Delta Blues

[I don't know how many people have heard this song before, and I don't feel the need to post the audio; It might ruin the impact as the lyrics are almost lost amongst the music. I just always seem to have them in my head.]

Their bones break where their hearts cannot, and heads are gonna roll ‘til I want them to stop. I’ll be there with bells on, just name the state. It will have to be underground. Underground because God ain't up this late.
Their bones are breaking ‘cause they’re weary and aching. The axes are falling ‘til they're dull or they're breaking. I’ll be there for you, or we can set us a date. I swear I love you, I swear by Christ. It is your father that I hate.
Lying to you never gets to me, because getting caught is what keeps me so honest.
Honestly, I might be the king of the delta blues. I sold my soul to write this for you. So get off your back. Is this really how you like to fuck? Face down ass up?
Trade it pound for pound. Trade it quart for quart. Trading lust for
love is like trading cheap wine for port.
This white-collar floozy has the blue-collar blues. More skeletons than closets and I still have more skin than tattoos. Ice where it’s bruised, swelled, rub out those bedsores.
To the face that launches thousands of ships, I miss you more then ignorance is bliss. More then I let on with my kiss. More then you’d ever care to be missed. Today a sister lost her sister, a son his mother. More than this. Fuck this.


The breaking of her silence as she purges hell

Wounded confined

A subtle frame balances

Till silence is admonished


Each burden echoed but given

No name

She bellows


It’s now as though her lungs where mine


In those moments of broken silence.

Hold on to me

I won’t let you drown.

Dr. Feelgood

There are certain moments when you read something, and you hear it just at the time you need it the most. Whether you like Richard Hell or not is irrelevant.

“I don’t think Richard Hell’s fascination with death is anything else but stupid. I suspect almost every day that I’m living for nothing. I get depressed and I feel self destructive and a lot of the time I don’t like myself. What’s more, the proximity of other humans often fills me with overwhelming anxiety, but I also feel that this precarious sentience is all we got and, simplistic as it may seem, it’s a person’s duty to the potentials of his own soul to make the best of it. We’re all stuck on this often miserable earth where life is essentially tragic, but there are glints of beauty and bedrock joy that come shining through from time to precious time to remind anybody who cares to see that there is something higher and larger than ourselves. And I am not talking about your putrefying gods, I am talking about a sense of wonder about life itself and the feeling that there is some redemptive factor you must at least search for until you drop dead of natural causes. And all the Richard Hells are chickenshits who trash the precious gift too blithely, and deserve to be given no credence, but shocked awake in some violent manner.”

“Either that or be spanked or put to bed.”

-Lester Bangs Richard Hell: Death Means Never Having to Say You’re Incomplete


Thursday, 30 July 2009


The saying 'you're damned if you do and damned if you don't' has been on my mind a lot lately. Being a creative in the creative industry is a complete contradiction in terms. You regard yourself as an 'artist', a passionate believer in the arts, someone inspired by the true artistic greats who can only dream of achieving an iota of your idol's success.

There. There it is. I just heard a rumble of thunder creep in through my bedroom window. A dark reminder that those who forgot their umbrellas today are going to pay. Those who thought leaving the house in flip flops and a t shirt to work would be fine because although office policy is 'no casual', you can sort of get away with it when the weather is really hot and even your boss rolls up his sleeves and takes off his tie.

I've come to the harsh realisation that you cannot be a true creative and work in any sort of 'industry'. You complain about being broke and having no money but at least I am happy as I am doing what I have always wanted to do but then as soon as you get a foot within an inch of a door of opportunity you, and others, accuse yourself of selling out. For some reason, contemplating making money from you art is a DIRTY word. Looking at funding options, big companies with large pockets is SHAMEFUL.

I don't know which way to turn. I cannot cope being on the breadline. I am almost 30 and not having a penny to my name and possibly having to rely on my father whose own salary has now been halved due to his ill health makes me feel ashamed of myself and everything I was meant to achieve. I feel that there is only one escape. A premature escape perhaps but one in which I won't have to worry about my problems and no one else will have to worry about me.

Wednesday, 29 July 2009

On Being Shy

'' One consolation that shy folk can take unto themselves is that shyness is certainly no sign of stupidity...Conceit, indeed is the quickest cure for it. When it once begins to dawn upon you that you are a good deal cleverer than any one else in this world, bashfulness becomes shocked and leaves you .

When you can look round a roomful of people and think that each one is a mere child in intellect compared with yourself you feel no more shy of them than you would of a select company of magpies or orang-outangs*"
By Jerome K Jerome
immensly good observation of life by an immensly cool 19th Century guy.

Monday, 20 July 2009


A doctor on 'Question Time' said that Single parent families are a form of child abuse and that hetrosexual marriage is the answer for all of societies problem.

I just think thats harsh And really we are living in the 21st century.

It just totally reminded me of a book I read when I was a teen,
to summarise there's a post apocolyptic world ran by women where men are bred to look androgynous and are for simply to reproduce and then killed. One woman falls in love with her partner and helps him escape becoming fugitives blah blah was a good book because it left a lasting impression But...

I hope it never resolves to that. Androgynous men? No thanks.



A drug fuelled romance

A fake existence

Perceptions intertwining

Between reality and fantasy

Perhaps once there was hope

Of a better life

Your kiss was so full

Your grip so tight

You wished for solace

But it never came.


Wednesday, 15 July 2009

Attention Whores

As bright and charming as you may try to present yourself
As much as you are well aware that your problems could barely hold a spark to the woes of those surrounding you
Let alone entire nations of civilians thousands of miles away
The smallest part wherever hidden always finds a way to overwhelm the rest of you
It contradicts the way you convince yourself to be seen as

There is always going to be that person
The only one who keeps you from finding sleep at night
The kind that throws you into thoughts fit for dialogue of films you hate
And the soundtrack is always the easiest part
Because the songs you love always said it before you even saw it coming

When that person makes you their smallest part
Behind someone else in where they set their attention
Sleep comes no sooner in an empty bed
It is suddenly so easy to forget about charity
To be selfish rather than selfless
And wish things were simply badly written fiction


A chat show host once said, If you are sharing yourself with more than one person
You will never be able to give any of them one hundred percent of your love
I repeat this to myself sometimes, between the stories of your conquests
In hopes that it stops me from letting you in completely, but I know it will not


Tuesday, 14 July 2009

Monday, 13 July 2009

Heroin Home

Cold, Damp, Scary. Life for some people...

Martin Sure

Saturday, 11 July 2009

Arguments for having multiple lovers

1. You realise quite quickly which one is your favourite
2. The possibilities to explore are infinite
3. You are always in control
4. Emotions are kept at the sidelines, where they belong
5. Life is too short and lots of sex is too good

Friday, 10 July 2009

This Is Like A Slap In The Face / This Is Like An Amputation

I bought Big Black's first EP 'Lungs' on vinyl for $6 in Reckless Records, Chicago. It's been really expensive everywhere else I've looked for it.

Reckless Records is a very cool record shop that originally commenced life in London but now only remains open abroad. I also bought R.E.M's 'Green' album for 49 cents. I'm only a fan of R.E.M's early work. They got really annoying after 1994.

'Lungs' begins with industrial drum beats and a creepy riff. On first listen, it sounds like it's going to be comparable to Suicide. However it is when Albini starts singing that you know you are firmly listening to a pure punk record. The first track 'Steelworker' has the amazing lyrics, 'I'm a steelworker, I kill what I eat/See, I'm, I'm a bricklayer, I kill what I eat/See, I'm a, I'm a murderer, I kill what I eat' which conveys the overriding theme of this EP: social disdain and there is a lot of it on here.

Probably, my favourite song on the EP is next - 'Live In A Hole'. A simple, raw staccato riff and painful vocals depict Albini's claustrophobia: 'Live in a room/An empty room/Four walls/White walls/I live in a hole.' Written whilst he was in student dorms, anyone who has lived in squalor accommodation or in Bethnal Green can totally sympathise with this confined space rage. This tune also comes with added saxophone. Anyone who can get away with that on a punk record deserves their God-like status.

'Dead Billy' starts off sounding like a cheap 1980s hip hop record sung by Trent Reznor. I love it. As I get lost in the moment I then realise that this song is in fact about Vietnam. 'Hey little girl in U.S. dress/Come and give daddy kiss/To Dead Billy, U.S. soldier in green/Little lady, napalm butt'. If this song was played to everyone in the world, then upcoming and current dictators would definitely think twice about war as this song would put the fear of God in them as it did in me.

Turning over to Side B and 'I Can Be Killed' is probably the most poppiest sounding song on the album but the lyrics remain dark and confrontational throughout: 'The only way/To keep me quiet/I can be killed'.

'The Crack' follows which is the most well-known song from this EP. The lyrics are bittersweet and extremely moving. What begins as 'I have never been so happy in my whole life/I've been denied this so long, I'm sure it's right' turns to 'I've never been so broken/I've never hurt so much'. Sometimes raw and direct lyrics are just what you need to hear when you feel the same.

The short EP (it IS a punk record after all and I always say that true punk records are less than 30 minutes long) ends on Rip which continues with the theme of war and in this case, those who are ignorant of it: 'He hasn't the sense to know we're fighting'. Like all great musicians, Albini gets his point across with minimum effort and maximum intelligence. His acute social and political commentaries helped to define Big Black as such a seminal punk band.

To those who love this band, I salute you. And to those who feel the urge to explore them, I commend you.


Tuesday, 7 July 2009



I have waited 4 years to listen to this album, and I have finally got my hands on a copy, and I am certain that it was worth this wait. From the opening notes, this album drew me into it and transfixed me from start to finish. Swathes of floating synths shimmer and fizz over the top of light blinking sequences, and melodies conjuring images of futuristic cities and lakes illuminated in moonlight. This is what Kraftwerk would sound like if they were more ambient.
It is, already only after one listen, one of the the best albums I have ever heard.
This album is ridiculously scarce, a relic from Germany 1978, and the only album Riechmann ever produced as he was shot dead only 4 days after the release.

If you ever find it online, or on vinyl, listen to it. And you will know why this album is great.


Saturday, 4 July 2009

Today I fell in Love.

I looked up and caught his eyes, blue and electric I felt a jolt of heat run from my stomach to my face, then he smiled and said 'hello' cautiously as if he wasn't sure I would respond but kept his eyes fixed on mine eager for my response.

I know the people he hangs around with and they make my skin crawl, Normally I would ignore him and vaguely smile in his direction, but this time I stupidly caught his eyes. Withought missing a heartbeat I automatically replied 'Hey you alright.' Then realising what I had done I quickly carried on with what I was doing.

He is the type of guy that girls fuss around, hurting and bitching each other to look better in his eyes, clawing for his attention, he has a constant set of groupies all of them vying for his attention, he isn't talented in anyway but gifted with beauty. I had made a point of avoiding him in a polite vagueness; but my aloof behaviour must have hurt his male ego and that is why he approched with caution. I know he felt what I had because for the rest of the day I kept catching him looking at me.

I am just incredibly happy I felt that electricity again since breaking up with my ex two years ago, everyone since then had been intwining for the sake of appearence.

Corny? Yes.
but I can not wait for tommorow.