Friday, 31 July 2009
Their bones break where their hearts cannot, and heads are gonna roll ‘til I want them to stop. I’ll be there with bells on, just name the state. It will have to be underground. Underground because God ain't up this late.
Their bones are breaking ‘cause they’re weary and aching. The axes are falling ‘til they're dull or they're breaking. I’ll be there for you, or we can set us a date. I swear I love you, I swear by Christ. It is your father that I hate.
Lying to you never gets to me, because getting caught is what keeps me so honest.
Honestly, I might be the king of the delta blues. I sold my soul to write this for you. So get off your back. Is this really how you like to fuck? Face down ass up?
Trade it pound for pound. Trade it quart for quart. Trading lust for
love is like trading cheap wine for port.
This white-collar floozy has the blue-collar blues. More skeletons than closets and I still have more skin than tattoos. Ice where it’s bruised, swelled, rub out those bedsores.
To the face that launches thousands of ships, I miss you more then ignorance is bliss. More then I let on with my kiss. More then you’d ever care to be missed. Today a sister lost her sister, a son his mother. More than this. Fuck this.
The breaking of her silence as she purges hell
A subtle frame balances
Till silence is admonished
Each burden echoed but given
It’s now as though her lungs where mine
In those moments of broken silence.
Hold on to me
I won’t let you drown.
There are certain moments when you read something, and you hear it just at the time you need it the most. Whether you like Richard Hell or not is irrelevant.
“I don’t think Richard Hell’s fascination with death is anything else but stupid. I suspect almost every day that I’m living for nothing. I get depressed and I feel self destructive and a lot of the time I don’t like myself. What’s more, the proximity of other humans often fills me with overwhelming anxiety, but I also feel that this precarious sentience is all we got and, simplistic as it may seem, it’s a person’s duty to the potentials of his own soul to make the best of it. We’re all stuck on this often miserable earth where life is essentially tragic, but there are glints of beauty and bedrock joy that come shining through from time to precious time to remind anybody who cares to see that there is something higher and larger than ourselves. And I am not talking about your putrefying gods, I am talking about a sense of wonder about life itself and the feeling that there is some redemptive factor you must at least search for until you drop dead of natural causes. And all the Richard Hells are chickenshits who trash the precious gift too blithely, and deserve to be given no credence, but shocked awake in some violent manner.”
“Either that or be spanked or put to bed.”
-Lester Bangs Richard Hell: Death Means Never Having to Say You’re Incomplete
Thursday, 30 July 2009
There. There it is. I just heard a rumble of thunder creep in through my bedroom window. A dark reminder that those who forgot their umbrellas today are going to pay. Those who thought leaving the house in flip flops and a t shirt to work would be fine because although office policy is 'no casual', you can sort of get away with it when the weather is really hot and even your boss rolls up his sleeves and takes off his tie.
I've come to the harsh realisation that you cannot be a true creative and work in any sort of 'industry'. You complain about being broke and having no money but at least I am happy as I am doing what I have always wanted to do but then as soon as you get a foot within an inch of a door of opportunity you, and others, accuse yourself of selling out. For some reason, contemplating making money from you art is a DIRTY word. Looking at funding options, big companies with large pockets is SHAMEFUL.
I don't know which way to turn. I cannot cope being on the breadline. I am almost 30 and not having a penny to my name and possibly having to rely on my father whose own salary has now been halved due to his ill health makes me feel ashamed of myself and everything I was meant to achieve. I feel that there is only one escape. A premature escape perhaps but one in which I won't have to worry about my problems and no one else will have to worry about me.
Wednesday, 29 July 2009
Monday, 20 July 2009
A doctor on 'Question Time' said that Single parent families are a form of child abuse and that hetrosexual marriage is the answer for all of societies problem.
I just think thats harsh And really we are living in the 21st century.
It just totally reminded me of a book I read when I was a teen,
to summarise there's a post apocolyptic world ran by women where men are bred to look androgynous and are for simply to reproduce and then killed. One woman falls in love with her partner and helps him escape becoming fugitives blah blah blah...it was a good book because it left a lasting impression But...
I hope it never resolves to that. Androgynous men? No thanks.
Wednesday, 15 July 2009
As much as you are well aware that your problems could barely hold a spark to the woes of those surrounding you
Let alone entire nations of civilians thousands of miles away
The smallest part wherever hidden always finds a way to overwhelm the rest of you
It contradicts the way you convince yourself to be seen as
There is always going to be that person
The only one who keeps you from finding sleep at night
The kind that throws you into thoughts fit for dialogue of films you hate
And the soundtrack is always the easiest part
Because the songs you love always said it before you even saw it coming
When that person makes you their smallest part
Behind someone else in where they set their attention
Sleep comes no sooner in an empty bed
It is suddenly so easy to forget about charity
To be selfish rather than selfless
And wish things were simply badly written fiction
A chat show host once said, If you are sharing yourself with more than one person
You will never be able to give any of them one hundred percent of your love
I repeat this to myself sometimes, between the stories of your conquests
In hopes that it stops me from letting you in completely, but I know it will not
Monday, 13 July 2009
Saturday, 11 July 2009
2. The possibilities to explore are infinite
3. You are always in control
4. Emotions are kept at the sidelines, where they belong
5. Life is too short and lots of sex is too good
Friday, 10 July 2009
Tuesday, 7 July 2009
I have waited 4 years to listen to this album, and I have finally got my hands on a copy, and I am certain that it was worth this wait. From the opening notes, this album drew me into it and transfixed me from start to finish. Swathes of floating synths shimmer and fizz over the top of light blinking sequences, and melodies conjuring images of futuristic cities and lakes illuminated in moonlight. This is what Kraftwerk would sound like if they were more ambient.
It is, already only after one listen, one of the the best albums I have ever heard.
This album is ridiculously scarce, a relic from Germany 1978, and the only album Riechmann ever produced as he was shot dead only 4 days after the release.
If you ever find it online, or on vinyl, listen to it. And you will know why this album is great.
Saturday, 4 July 2009
I know the people he hangs around with and they make my skin crawl, Normally I would ignore him and vaguely smile in his direction, but this time I stupidly caught his eyes. Withought missing a heartbeat I automatically replied 'Hey you alright.' Then realising what I had done I quickly carried on with what I was doing.
He is the type of guy that girls fuss around, hurting and bitching each other to look better in his eyes, clawing for his attention, he has a constant set of groupies all of them vying for his attention, he isn't talented in anyway but gifted with beauty. I had made a point of avoiding him in a polite vagueness; but my aloof behaviour must have hurt his male ego and that is why he approched with caution. I know he felt what I had because for the rest of the day I kept catching him looking at me.
I am just incredibly happy I felt that electricity again since breaking up with my ex two years ago, everyone since then had been intwining for the sake of appearence.
but I can not wait for tommorow.