Creative Kills

I wish I didn't spend all day and all night filling my head with silly dreams of lyrics for songs and chord progressions,
I wish I didn't doodle ideas for club nights and make lists of which new records to buy when I finally get some money,
I wish I didn't see the disappointment in my parents' eyes everytime I went home,
I wish I didn't freak out about getting more bills and stopped crying at night worrying about my debts,
I wish I spent my days at work, counting beans and making beans,
Going for lunches with clients and colleagues,
Wearing a dry-cleaned suit and coiffing up my hair with cold water,
Asking how my bosses kids were doing and which schools he'd recommend in the area,
I wish I lived in a huge house, with 2 cars quite close to my parents,
I wish my biggest task at the moment was organising my wedding,
I wish I had to buy my colleague an engagement present,
I wish I had an upcoming performance review but this time it would go perfectly.
I wish I never questioned this life.

I wish I wasn't alone,
I wish I wasn't me.